Many mistake empathy for softness or permissiveness. However, it’s vital to realize that deep empathic connection and true compassion are not about being nice or sympathetic. Sympathy is sharing how we have had similar experiences and it draws the attention to oneself. Empathy focuses attention on the other person and is about being real and engendering both personal and group responsibility to effect change and put organizational strategies into actions that get results.
But it isn’t just about listening because that is exhausting. Empathy is a two-way street: I’m going to listen to you and when you feel heard, I want to share with you how it effects me. That’s an empathic relationship. It is hard to do, but it is a gift for managers and supervisors because it means there is a way to have real connection with someone while telling the truth.
Thankfully, putting oneself in someone else’s shoes can be learned. While basic empathy is natural to human beings, actionable empathy is cultivated.
Listen to what author, speaker, trainer and coach Marie Miyashiro has to say about it.